Coping With Infidelity
You've been cheated on, lied to, betrayed... nearly destroyed.
Of course, your heart is hurting. Of course, your emotional reactions
have run (and are still running) the gamut--from rage to sorrow
to mirthless humor and everything in between. Revenge lingers
on your mind, things like tire slashing, keying of nice, new cars...
showing up at the bar or restaurant where they frequent, and kicking
some serious ex-wife ass. Pummeling the bitch who took your man
away.
Of course, none of these ideas are recommended. Most of what
you're probably fantasizing about lately would land you in prison.
So, rather than acting on poorly-crafted plans, we advise you
to step back from the cheating wife or husband situation. Get
some clearance. Take the time you need to work through the emotional
turmoil. Come out on the other side stronger, wiser, and better
than you were before. Someday sooner than you think, this person
who tried to ruin you will be just a distant memory, a mistake
you made and learned from.
Some coping skills to help you get through in the meantime:
1. Out with the bad energy. Your tension is
through the roof. Anyone who's been cheated on knows the feeling.
The best way to shed this bad energy is to just burn it off. Now's
the time to get back in the gym, tearing up the treadmill, pounding
away the pounds. Just think, you could end up being in the best
shape of your life, thanks to that cheating whore or man-whore!
2. Avoid booze and drugs. Sure, lots of people
whose spouses cheated might find themselves running straight for
the liquor cabinet or sparking up a doobie to help dull the pain.
This is the worst thing you can do. Altering your mind might be
a solution for the now, but all it does is temporarily stifle
the feelings that need to be released. So be okay with your fragile
mental and emotional state. This, too, shall pass... better to
pass on the partying.
3. Focus on the takeaways. At first, this will
seem nearly impossible -- but remember that there are always things
to be gained, no matter how bad the relationship. Did you two
have kids together? Start a business? Buy a home? Try to look
at it from the perspective of, what can I take with me as I walk
out the door? A lawyer will help you sort through this from a
divorcing perspective.
4. Write out your hostility, pain, loss, etc. Parting
ways with a partner who has been unfaithful is something of a
grieving process. After all, you're mourning the loss of your
old relationship; the life you built and the things you created
together. It's okay to cry every day if you have to. Putting pen
to paper can help you purge your soul and toss out those personal
demons once and for all. Just think -- you may discover an untapped
talent, maybe even one day land a book deal. Or, at the very least,
have something you can laugh about later.
Bookmark www.WifeCheatingonHusband.com.
We will see you soon!
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